How to deal with heartbreak 101

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Heartbreak is never an easy thing to do through. It happens to everyone sometime in their life and it honestly just sucks. But sometimes it takes getting out of a relationship to see how good your life is going to be without this person. Right now I’m dealing with my own heart break. Yes, that means Joel and I broke up. It’s not fun let me tell you. You spent countless hours thinking “if I did this would we still be together” You cry buckets upon buckets of tears. You’re constantly feeling like you’re in a horrible nightmare and that you’ll wake up any second and you’ll still be dating. You never want to leave your bed or be around people. It takes every single ounce of strength you have to pull yourself out of bed and go to the gym or to class. Heartbreak is one of the worst feelings in the world.

When you’re dating someone it’s like you have these blinders on like a horse when they’re racing. You only see the person you want to see, not the person they actually are. Sometimes you’re so head over heals for this person that even if they treat you bad you put up with it because you don’t want to lose them. That’s exactly how I was. I’m not saying Joel was always mean or rude to me but there was definitely some warning signs I should have saw. I let him change me completely. I stopped going to church because he didn’t like Mormons. I didn’t want him to break up with me. Never in a million years would I thought I would let a boy change me so much. I defended him so much saying he was a nice guy, he was caring, he was respectful but in reality he was the opposite. I’m not going to go into much detail about him because he did have his moments where he was a great boyfriend.

As I was talking with my friends yesterday we talked about how break ups are a learning experience and you need to learn something from each of them. I have learned a lot from this.
1) don’t let a boy change you for any reason. Yes change is good. But if they completely change your religious beliefs or anything else so precious to you, they aren’t the one.
2) if they never make an effort to see you and you’re the one making all the effort you should probably stop and think to yourself “is this worth it?” your boyfriend should want to spend time with you and not say “we don’t need to see each other every weekend” you should probably get out of that relationship and find someone who does love spending time with you.
3) don’t let how you feel about them dictate how you should be treated. Like I said, you almost always have these blinders on when you’re dating someone and they block out a lot of the things you don’t want to see. You should never have to put up with someone who treats you like crap. You deserve the best.
4) it takes heartbreak to see what you truly deserve and your ex’s are examples of boys you should never date again.
5) don’t date someone who isn’t supportive. If they are just a negative nelly and don’t give you praise for doing something good or support when you’re feeling sad: GET OUT!! You should never have to feel like everything you do whether is good or bad is stupid. They should support you through your highs and your lows.

Heart break sucks, it really does. But once those blinders come off you finally get to see the true identity of the person. It stings a little because you think “wow, how did I put up with his BS for so long?” Sometimes it makes you feel worthless and you hate yourself for letting a boy dictate your life.

Yesterday, I was reminded of how much my Heavenly Father does love me. I forgot what it felt like to feel His overwhelming love for me. People are placed in your life as a blessing or a lesson. Those lessons can hurt like heck but you’ll always have your Heavenly Father to help you get through it all. I know I’ll be okay after a while. I know I have amazing friends who literally dropped everything to make me feel better. I know I have a family that loves me so much. I know that there is someone out there for me that’ll treat me like a princess. I know my Heavenly Father loves me so much and even though I fell away from Church for awhile He’s there with open arms waiting to welcome me back.

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One thought on “How to deal with heartbreak 101

  1. colette beauchamp

    Shae, I’m sorry you haven’t found that wonderful guy that will treat you like a princess yet….but I know in time you will. Your a great girl & have an amazing testimony of your loving Heavenly Father who will always be there for you.

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