This post is NOT to make my mom sound like a wicked witch or anything. I love my mom and always will.
So I got baptized May 19th, 2012 and I kept it from my parents for as long as I possible could. My dad found out a few weeks after and he wasn’t mad at all. He said “as long as you’re happy and doing it for the right reasons, I’ll support you.” So woo go dad. He told me not to tell my mom though. For those who don’t know, my mom is an alcoholic, she has been for 18 years. She’s not a nice alcoholic either, she gets violent and it’s just not pretty. I was doing the family a favor by not saying anything to her.
The day I got out of school (as in I was done because I was graduating) I had Jeff over for dinner because his family was out of town. My mom was drunk and yelling at me. I’m pretty sure she had a clue I was Mormon because she was just saying all this rude stuff about Mormons and me. I yelled “MOM I’M ONE OF THOSE MORMONS!” The look in her face made me fear for my life, I swear she was going to kill me or something. She began yelling and crying saying “it’s not true you’re lying!” I pulled out my scriptures and showed her. Like I said before my mom is a violent drunk, so she hit me multiple times. Nothing major but it was enough to get me to cry. Thinking on my feet I yelled JUST KIDDING MOM! The look in her eyes was “thank freaking goodness.” That was something I never wanted to go through again, so once again it was a secret in the family. She doesn’t remember anything from that day, which I guess is a good thing.
A few months passed and again I was in the same position I was before. My mom yelling and dissing Mormons. This time I wasn’t gonna back out and say just kidding. I put on my big girl pants and said “Mom, I’m Mormon.” Actually, I yelled it… but yeah. She gave me the look of death and began yelling at me more. I’m thankful I have a car and license because I bolted out of my house like nobody’s business. I told my friends what happened and they comforted me through it all.
When I got home my mom was passed out but she did some serious facebook damage. She got my entire family against me. She made ME look like the bad guy, I had NO clue what to do. I felt hopeless, lost, wanting to just stop living. Again, I’m thankful I have such great friends and missionaries because they saved me.
The whole week I spent with Madison and her family. My mom couldn’t look at me, talk to me, or be within 2 inches of me. I didn’t think that me being Mormon would hurt her so badly. I was happy, so shouldn’t she be happy for me? I then realized that she was hurt because I didn’t tell her, also, because I was LDS but mostly because I didn’t tell her. After the week my mom comes up to me in tears apologizing for everything and saying she loved me. I broke down, I cried “mom I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to hurt you.” I felt so bad not telling her right away, but it needed to be done.
As of right now, my mom still doesn’t approve of me being LDS. I get crap from her on a daily basis… no joke. There’s not one day that passes that she doesn’t call me a “stupid Mormon” or “Mormon slut” (idk where she gets that from) It hasn’t gotten easier but I know that this is a trail that needs to be in my life, Heavenly Father has a plan for all this craziness in my life. I just need to trust that he knows what he’s doing.
One of the days I spent with Madison when my mom had a breakdown of madness.